My relationship with alcohol started when I was a teenager. Like many, I thought drinking was a rite of passage—a way to fit in, rebel, and escape all at once. But from the very beginning, alcohol was tied to chaos. I was arrested multiple times in my teenage years and early twenties, yet I kept returning to it, convinced it gave me the freedom I craved.
Alcohol felt like an escape, a way to numb emotional pain and avoid the wounds I wasn’t ready to confront. It became a companion for far longer than I’d like to admit. I spent countless mornings hungover and blacked out more times than I could ever tally. Those blackouts weren’t just dangerous; they were profoundly unsettling. Some people believe that during a blackout, when the conscious mind is essentially "offline," you’re more vulnerable—susceptible to outside influences or even possession. While I can’t say for certain, I do know that in those moments, I felt untethered, disconnected, and completely out of control. What I thought was helping me cope was actually controlling me, slowing my growth, and keeping me trapped in cycles of self-destruction.
The Illusion of Connection
For a long time, alcohol gave me a false sense of community. Drinking made me feel like I belonged, but those connections were often shallow, built on mutual escapism rather than genuine support. The lowered inhibitions alcohol provided created an illusion of closeness, but it was fleeting and hollow.
Our culture reinforces this illusion. Drinking is woven into the fabric of socializing, celebrating, and even grieving, making it feel almost essential for connection. But I’ve learned that true connection isn’t built on numbing—it’s built on authenticity, vulnerability, and shared growth. Letting go of alcohol allowed me to cultivate relationships rooted in mutual respect and care, rather than a shared desire to escape.
The Role of Community in Healing
One of the most transformative aspects of my journey has been the power of community. Sobriety can feel isolating at first, especially when so many social rituals revolve around drinking. But finding a like-minded community was a game-changer for me. Being surrounded by people who understood my struggles and celebrated my progress made all the difference.
Whether it’s through a formal program like AA, a yoga class, or simply connecting with others on a similar path, community provides a sense of belonging and accountability. It reminds you that you’re not alone, and that healing is a shared journey. My community has been a constant source of strength, helping me rewrite my story with compassion and hope.
How Alcohol Delays Healing
Looking back, I see how alcohol hindered my growth in so many ways. While it seemed to ease my struggles in the moment, it delayed the real work I needed to do.
1. Emotional Avoidance
Alcohol numbs emotions, but it doesn’t heal them. It kept me from addressing the root causes of my pain, leaving me stuck in a cycle of avoidance.
2. Lowered Energy and Vibrations
Alcohol is like a dimmer switch on your energy. It disconnects you from your intuition and amplifies unresolved emotions like sadness or anger. Living in this low-vibration state made it impossible to grow and thrive.
3. Physical and Spiritual Disruption
Beyond the toll on my body—poor sleep, inflammation, and hormonal imbalances—alcohol disrupted my spiritual boundaries. I often felt disconnected from my higher self, adrift without the clarity or peace I craved.
The Path to Freedom: How I Quit Alcohol
Quitting alcohol wasn’t just about stopping a bad habit—it was about reclaiming my life. It took a combination of holistic practices, plant medicines, therapy, and community to peel back the layers of pain and find freedom. Here’s what helped me most:
Yoga
Yoga became my lifeline, helping me reconnect with my body and spirit. The physical postures (asana) taught me to feel safe in my body again, while meditation offered clarity and awareness. Breathwork (pranayama) was especially transformative, helping me process emotions and regulate my nervous system. Chanting allowed me to release stagnant energy, leaving me lighter and more joyful.
Bodywork
Trauma lives in the body, and bodywork became a powerful tool for releasing the tension and emotions I had stored for years. Each session helped me feel more at ease and connected to myself.
Plant Medicine: Psilocybin and Ayahuasca
Working with psilocybin and ayahuasca allowed me to face the pain I had buried for so long. These sacred medicines provided clarity, courage, and profound emotional release, helping me understand and break the patterns that kept me stuck.
Therapy
Therapy was a critical part of my healing journey. It offered a safe space to explore the roots of my relationship with alcohol and develop healthier coping mechanisms. My therapist helped me uncover and process experiences I wasn’t ready to face alone.
The Power of the 12 Steps
The 12 Steps, whether within the fellowship of AA or as a standalone guide, are an incredible framework for healing. They offer a structured way to take accountability, make amends, and cultivate a connection with a higher power. For me, the steps were a reminder that healing isn’t linear—it’s a process of growth, humility, and surrender.
Steps to Break Free from Alcohol
If you’re considering stepping away from alcohol, here are some steps that helped me:
1. Reflect on Your Relationship with Alcohol
Ask yourself: Why do I drink? What am I hoping to feel or avoid when I reach for a drink? How does alcohol truly make me feel, in the moment and afterward?
2. Seek Support
Whether through therapy, community, or a trusted friend, having someone to talk to can make all the difference. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
3. Explore Holistic Practices
Yoga, breathwork, and bodywork provide powerful alternatives to alcohol. These practices help you reconnect with your body, release tension, and find emotional balance.
4. Consider Plant Medicine
When approached intentionally, plant medicines like psilocybin and ayahuasca can offer profound insights and healing. Always seek guidance from experienced facilitators in safe, supportive settings.
5. Build Authentic Relationships
Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth. Let go of relationships that revolve solely around drinking, and create new rituals that don’t rely on alcohol.
Rewriting My Story
Letting go of alcohol wasn’t easy, but it was the most liberating decision of my life. It gave me the space to heal, to grow, and to create a life filled with clarity, connection, and purpose.
If you’re struggling with alcohol, know this: you’re not alone, and it’s never too late to make a change. With the right tools, support, and intention, freedom is possible. You deserve a life that feels vibrant, aligned, and deeply nourishing. And it starts with the choices you make today.
A Question for Reflection
What would your life look like if alcohol weren’t in the picture? How might it feel to wake up every morning with clarity, energy, and the freedom to fully embrace the day ahead?