In my early forties, my perspective on fitness has transformed.
Despite being naturally thin, my relationship with my body hasn’t always been healthy. Years of struggling with anorexia, body dysmorphia, and the unrealistic standards from my time in modeling and acting phase, left me feeling deeply disconnected. Yoga became a lifeline, offering a way to heal and reconnect, but a part of me still clung to the ’90s waif ideal, tethered to the belief that smaller somehow equated to better.
Now, I’ve reached a place where I genuinely want to cultivate strength, balance, and vitality for myself. With the guidance of my incredible friend and personal trainer, JJ Pepper—FlexMob King, kinesiology wizard, and a hilariously deep and insightful human—I’ve discovered a sustainable and empowering fitness approach that aligns perfectly with my goals. Strength training has become the ideal complement to my yoga practice, filling in essential gaps like functional movements and pulling exercises—key components often overlooked in traditional yoga classes.
Why Whole-Body Activation Matters
Activating your body means engaging all your muscles to work efficiently together. It’s not just about building strength; it’s about creating balance, preventing injury, and fostering a mind-body connection that supports longevity and vitality.
For me, this balance has been transformative—not just physically, but energetically. Strength training introduces pulling motions, which are often underrepresented in yoga and everyday movement patterns. This balance of "pushing" and "pulling" movements creates not only physical alignment but potentially shifts the psychic and energetic dynamics within the body as well.
Energetically, pushing can symbolize exertion, action, and external projection, while pulling invites receptivity, grounding, and drawing in what we need. By integrating both dynamics into my routine, I’ve noticed a greater sense of harmony—not just in my body but in my approach to life. It’s a reminder of the interconnectedness between physical movement and the subtle flow of energy within.This approach has been particularly important for sustaining my work as a massage therapist and yoga teacher, roles that demand physical resilience and balance. The average career span for massage therapists is often cut short due to the toll it takes on the body. By integrating intentional movement that balances effort with restoration, I’m supporting my ability to show up fully for my clients and students.
Overcoming Gym PTSD
Returning to the gym after the pandemic presented an unexpected challenge—what I call “COVID gym PTSD.” The overstimulation of screens, the unfamiliar environment, and the collective tension lingering in the air initially felt overwhelming.
JJ helped me reframe my experience. Together, we created a program tailored to my needs and goals, allowing me to focus inward. I began using tools like music, podcasts, and audiobooks to help stay grounded and present during workouts. The gym, once a space that felt alienating, has become a place of growth, empowerment, and even meditation in motion.
How Yoga Complements Strength Training
Yoga remains a daily practice for my mind, body, and spirit, but I’ve realized it shouldn’t be my primary form of exercise. While yoga is incredible for flexibility, mindfulness, and some forms of strength, it often emphasizes pushing movements (like chaturangas and planks) while neglecting the posterior chain—our back, glutes, and hamstrings.
Strength training provides the balance I need. By incorporating pulling exercises and functional movements, I’ve created a more integrated approach to wellness that supports both flexibility and strength. This balance has deepened my connection to my body, allowing me to feel stronger, more capable, and more aligned with myself.
Embracing the Whole Journey
Initially, my fitness journey was about building functional strength and balance for work and life. But I’ve also come to embrace the deeper truth: I want to feel strong, resilient, and connected to my body—not just for what it can do but for the joy of inhabiting it fully.
This journey is grounded in self-love, with goals that prioritize health and resilience. At the same time, I’ve learned to honor the desire to feel great in my body and love the way it looks. Celebrating the beauty and strength of our physical form isn’t vanity—it’s an act of gratitude and joy for the vessel that carries us through life.
Our body is the home of our soul, a sacred vessel for every moment of our lives. Feeling strong, embodied, and joyful in this home is our birthright. With the right care and support, we can build the sturdiest, most beautiful home we could imagine—a place of wellness, empowerment, and deep self-love.
A Reflection for You
What would it feel like to truly live in a body that feels strong, balanced, and alive? How might your energy shift if you approached movement—or any form of self-care—with the intention to both receive and give? Perhaps this is your moment to explore how the dynamics of pushing and pulling, both physically and energetically, could create harmony in your life. Are you ready to build a home within yourself that feels truly yours?