Kambo: Detox, Clarity, and the Amazonian Frog Medicine That Resets Your Body and Mind

Kambo: The Myth, the Medicine, and My Journey to Healing

What if I told you the secret to feeling like a superhero (minus the cape) comes from a slimy Amazonian frog? Nope, it’s probably not the one you’re thinking of if you’re imagining toad-licking trips. That, my friends, is the Bufo toad, and we may talk about that fascinating medicine another day. Today, we’re diving into kambo, a traditional medicine that’s as intriguing as it is transformative.

This isn’t your average healing journey. It involves burns, purges, and the wisdom of a rainforest legend. Ready to hop into the world of the waxy monkey tree frog? Let’s go. 🐸

The Myth of Kambo’s Discovery

Long ago, deep in the Amazon rainforest, a shaman faced a crisis. His people were suffering from a mysterious illness that defied all traditional remedies. Desperate to save his tribe, he turned to the spirit world during a sacred ayahuasca ceremony.

In his vision, a powerful forest spirit appeared and revealed the secret of the waxy monkey tree frog (Phyllomedusa bicolor). The spirit explained how to use the frog’s secretion as a potent medicine:

1. Burn Gates on the Skin: Tiny burns would create an entry point for the medicine, allowing it to bypass the digestive system and flow directly into the lymphatic system.

2. Apply the Secretion to the Burns: This would activate the body’s natural detox pathways, flushing toxins, illness, and negative energy.

3. Embrace the Purge: The vomiting, sweating, and emotional release were not side effects but the essence of the healing process—a physical and energetic cleanse to reset the body and mind.

The shaman followed the spirit’s instructions, and his people were healed. From that moment on, kambo became a sacred tool, passed down through generations as a gift from the rainforest itself.

Why Do People Use Kambo Today?

Centuries later, kambo continues to captivate those seeking alternative paths to healing. Its benefits include:

• Detoxifying the Body: A full-body purge to remove toxins and stagnant energy. Think of it as nature’s ultimate cleanse, helping the body reset and realign.

• Clearing Panema: In Amazonian tradition, panema is described as negative energy or a feeling of being "stuck" in life. Kambo is believed to energetically cleanse this heaviness, leaving individuals feeling lighter and more aligned.

• Boosting Immunity: Its bioactive peptides are believed to strengthen the immune system, reduce inflammation, and support the body’s natural defenses.

• Mental and Emotional Clarity: Many report feeling emotionally lighter, more focused, and deeply connected after a session, with a renewed sense of purpose and direction.

• Potential Tumor-Fighting Properties: Research shows that kambo peptides like dermaseptins can inhibit the growth of tumor cells in vitro, suggesting potential in cancer treatment.

• Antimicrobial and Antiviral Effects: Kambo’s peptides also combat bacteria, fungi, and viruses, providing powerful antimicrobial effects that support the body in fighting infections.

The purge isn’t just a dramatic moment—it feels necessary. As your body expels toxins and stuck energy, you sense a deep physical and emotional release. This combination of physical detox and energetic cleansing is part of what makes kambo so transformative for many.

My Journey with Kambo

In 2021, I found myself at a crossroads. I had received the first round of the vaccine but didn’t really want to keep getting boosters when they said I was supposed to. I was searching for another way to support my immune system, something holistic and natural. That’s when I decided to try Amazonian frog medicine instead.

The first time I sat with kambo, it was to reset my immune system. I had lingering health issues I wanted to address, and although the process was intense, the results were undeniable—I felt lighter, clearer, and more aligned.

The second and third times I worked with kambo were in preparation for sitting with ayahuasca. I wanted to go into the experience as clean and clear as possible, both physically and energetically. Kambo helped me achieve that. After each session, I felt sharper and more ready to do the deep, introspective work required with ayahuasca. Comparing my experiences with and without kambo, I can confidently say that the frog medicine made a significant difference.

An Extraordinary Facilitator

For all three of my kambo sessions, I worked with Lumen, an incredible facilitator and gifted medicine woman. She created a sacred and supportive space for our ceremony, which included four participants.

Lumen’s process was as thorough as it was intuitive. She began by preparing us with hape, a grounding herbal snuff, and sananga, a cleansing eye medicine. Through prayers, songs, and even a sound healing, she guided each of us individually through the experience with such care and presence that I felt completely held and supported throughout.

Her expertise and nurturing approach made what could have been a challenging experience feel meaningful and transformative. She also conducted a detailed intake before the ceremony, ensuring I was a good candidate for the medicine and answering all my questions with patience and understanding.

If you feel called to work with this medicine, I wholeheartedly recommend Lumen. Her deep knowledge, respect for the tradition, and nurturing approach make her an extraordinary guide for this journey.

The Preparation

Before sitting with kambo, preparation is key. This isn’t something you just dive into without thought or planning. Taking steps to ready your body and mind ensures the medicine can work its magic effectively.

• Diet: I followed a special diet for a few days beforehand, avoiding heavy, processed, or overly stimulating foods to ensure my body was as clean and receptive as possible.

• Intention Setting: I spent time reflecting on my intentions for the session, asking myself what I hoped to release or gain from the experience.

• Hydration: You’re required to drink a healthy amount of water before the session, which is a challenge in itself! It’s not just sipping water casually—you need to consume enough to support the purge process, and trust me, drinking that much water in a short period is no easy feat.

• In-Depth Intake: My facilitator, Lumen, conducted a thorough intake to ensure I was a good candidate for the medicine and to address any questions or concerns I had beforehand.

By the time the session began, I felt both physically and mentally prepared for the transformative journey ahead.

The Ceremony

Our ceremony included four participants, each with our own intentions and journeys.

When it was my turn, she burned tiny gates on my skin and applied the kambo secretion. Within moments, I felt the kambo heat—a surge of warmth rushing through my body. Then came the purge: 15 minutes of intense nausea and violent vomiting. And yes, for some, the purge also happens from the other end. Lumen was there to help guide us to the bathroom if needed, creating a safe and supportive space for what can feel like the ultimate physical release.

Though it sounds unpleasant (and it is in the moment), the purge felt deeply necessary. With each wave, I could sense my body shedding toxins, stagnant energy, and emotional heaviness that I didn’t even realize I was carrying. It was as if my body was finally saying, “No more!”

Afterwards, as the intensity subsided and all participants completed their sessions, we came together to share a simple, grounding meal. We enjoyed chips and hummus, paired with delicious mango nectar, savoring the sweetness and nourishment after such an intense experience.

That night, I celebrated my reset by dancing my heart out at a Poranguí concert, which just so happened to be on my birthday and the spring equinox. It was an unforgettable reset—one that left me feeling deeply aligned with myself and the world around me.

The Science Behind the Myth

Modern research is beginning to catch up with the ancient wisdom of the Amazon. Studies have uncovered remarkable properties in the bioactive peptides found in kambo, including:

• Dermaseptins: Anti-cancer properties that inhibit tumor growth in studies on prostate and colorectal cancer.

• Phyllocaeruleins: Pain-relieving and digestion-enhancing peptides that also lower blood pressure.

• Adenoregulin: Supports cellular energy and immune response by interacting with adenosine receptors.

• Deltorphins and Dermorphins: Natural opioids with powerful mood-boosting and pain-relieving effects.

While these findings are promising, it’s important to note that there is limited scientific research on the efficacy of kambo for healing. Most studies have been conducted in vitro (outside a living organism) or on animals, and there have been no large-scale clinical trials to evaluate its safety and effectiveness in humans.

Why Aren’t There More Studies on Kambo?

The lack of scientific studies on kambo is primarily due to a combination of factors:

1. Limited Funding: Researching natural or traditional medicines often receives less financial support compared to pharmaceutical research. Since kambo is not patentable, there’s little incentive for pharmaceutical companies to invest in costly clinical trials.

2. Cultural and Ethical Barriers: Kambo is deeply tied to indigenous traditions, and navigating the ethics of studying a sacred medicine can be complex. Respecting the origins of kambo while subjecting it to Western scientific frameworks requires careful consideration.

3. Regulatory Hurdles: In many countries, kambo is not officially recognized as a medicine, making it challenging to conduct formal studies without navigating strict regulatory barriers.

4. Lack of Willingness: With limited mainstream awareness of kambo, there has been a lack of willingness or prioritization from governments, institutions, or private organizations to allocate resources for in-depth research.

Despite these challenges, the bioactive peptides in kambo exhibit fascinating biological activity, suggesting that it holds potential for therapeutic applications. However, the lack of rigorous clinical trials leaves much of its use rooted in anecdotal evidence and traditional practices.

Anyone considering kambo should approach it with caution, work with an experienced and knowledgeable facilitator, and carefully weigh the potential benefits and risks. Further research is essential to unlock the full understanding of this powerful Amazonian medicine.These findings highlight how kambo bridges the gap between traditional healing and modern science.

How Kambo is Administered (Spoiler: It’s Not for the Faint of Heart)

1. The Burn Marks: Tiny, superficial burns are made on the skin to create “gates” for the medicine.

2. The Secretion: The kambo secretion is applied to the gates, triggering an almost immediate response.

3. The Purge: Cue the vomiting, sweating, and sometimes purging from the other end—your body’s way of Marie Kondo-ing toxins and bad energy.

4. The Facilitator’s Role: A skilled practitioner ensures that you’re safe and supported, guiding you to the bathroom if needed and holding space for the intensity of the experience.

5. The Aftermath: Once it’s over, most participants come together to share a simple meal, a grounding way to reconnect after the intensity of the session.

Final Thoughts (and Frog Puns)

Kambo isn’t for everyone—it’s intense, messy, and not exactly glamorous. But for those willing to take the leap (ribbit), it can be life-changing. Whether you’re seeking detox, clarity, or simply want to feel like a jungle warrior, this Amazonian frog has your back.

Sometimes, the path to healing starts with a little hop. 🐸

Would you try kambo? Let me know in the comments—or just ribbit if you’re feeling shy.

Deepening Your Yoga Practice: Part 1 – Journey From the Mat to the Heart

Yoga often begins as a physical practice—a way to stretch, strengthen, and calm the mind. But as you continue, a quiet whisper might emerge, urging you to look beyond the poses. Yoga is not merely a workout; it’s a path to deeper connection, transformation, and awakening. It calls you to step off the mat and into a richer understanding of yourself and the world.

With a dedicated practice, it feels almost inevitable to go deeper. Yet, this journey requires patience and the willingness to release attachment to outcomes. Progress in yoga isn’t about achieving perfect poses or meditating for hours—it’s about meeting yourself where you are, uncovering new layers of self-awareness, and cultivating a life aligned with your truest self.

My own journey to deepen my practice came alive during the months that I spent living at Anand Prakash Ashram just outside of Rishikesh, in Tapovan, India while studying under one of my teachers, Yogrishi Vishvketu. Each morning began with a two-hour yoga class, integrating asana, chanting, meditation, and Pranayama. Afterward, we gathered for the Agni Hotra, a Vedic fire ceremony, chanting mantras and making offerings to the sacred flame. Breakfast followed in noble silence, allowing us to reflect and remain present with the peace cultivated through these practices. Later in the day, Seva, or selfless service, and Bhakti Yoga, devotional singing, added profound dimensions to the experience.

These rituals transformed my understanding of yoga. They illuminated how practices like fire rituals, noble silence, chanting, breathwork, and devotion can guide us to the heart of yoga—a lifelong journey of connection, surrender, and growth.

Here’s how you can explore these layers of yoga, incorporating practices that can transform your life from the mat to the heart.

The Yamas and Niyamas: Yoga’s Ethical Foundation

The Yamas and Niyamas: Yoga’s Ethical Compass

At yoga’s core lies the Yamas (restraints) and Niyamas (observances), forming the ethical compass of the practice. These principles are not rigid rules but guiding lights, offering a framework for living with authenticity, integrity, and compassion. They help us align our thoughts, words, and actions with the essence of yoga.

It’s important to approach the Yamas and Niyamas not as commandments or prohibitions, but as practices that naturally cultivate harmony within ourselves and the world around us. When we live, think, and speak in alignment with these principles, we create the richest soil for inner peace, self-realization, and a relaxed mind. This foundation is essential for accessing deeper and more expansive states of consciousness, allowing us to explore the profound depths of yoga.

The Yamas: How You Relate to Others

• Ahimsa (Non-violence): Cultivate kindness toward yourself and others. Observe how your words, thoughts, and actions impact your inner and outer world.

• Satya (Truthfulness): Speak and live authentically, aligning with your true self. Honesty fosters clarity and trust.

• Asteya (Non-stealing): Avoid taking what isn’t freely given—whether it’s time, energy, or resources. Practice gratitude for what you have.

• Brahmacharya (Moderation): Preserve your energy and find balance in your desires, actions, and commitments.

• Aparigraha (Non-possessiveness): Let go of attachments to material things, outcomes, and identities. Embrace simplicity and freedom.

The Niyamas: How You Relate to Yourself

• Shaucha (Cleanliness): Keep your body, mind, and environment clear and uncluttered. Cleanliness creates space for clarity and positive energy.

• Santosha (Contentment): Embrace gratitude and find peace in the present moment. Contentment fosters joy and freedom from comparison.

• Tapas (Discipline): Cultivate the inner fire for consistent growth, perseverance, and self-improvement. Discipline strengthens resilience and focus.

• Svadhyaya (Self-study): Reflect on your thoughts, habits, and patterns. Deepen your understanding of yourself through study and introspection.

• Ishvarapranidhana (Surrender): Trust in the flow of life and release the need for control. Surrender invites grace and a deeper connection to the divine.

How to Begin:

Choose one Yama or Niyama each week to focus on. Reflect on its meaning and how it applies to your daily life. Journaling can help you uncover insights and patterns. You might also bring these principles into your yoga practice—for example:

• Practice Ahimsa by observing your self-talk during challenging poses. Notice if your inner dialogue is critical and gently shift it to compassion.

• Embody Santosha by appreciating where you are in your practice, without striving for perfection.

• Explore Tapas by committing to a consistent yoga or meditation routine, even on days when motivation is low.

As you align your life with the Yamas and Niyamas, you’ll notice a ripple effect: a more peaceful mind, harmonious relationships, and a greater sense of inner freedom. This alignment fosters the mental stillness and clarity necessary for deeper meditation, expanded consciousness, and self-realization—the ultimate gifts of yoga.

The Power of Noble Silence

Noble silence is a practice of refraining from speaking, offering profound opportunities for mindfulness and introspection. During my time at the ashram, silent breakfasts after morning practices became moments of deep connection with myself. Without the distractions of conversation, the simple act of eating became a meditation, attuning me to the tastes, textures, and gratitude for nourishment.

Benefits of Noble Silence:

• Heightened Awareness: You become more attuned to your thoughts and emotions.

• Deeper Mindfulness: Everyday actions take on a meditative quality.

• Emotional Clarity: Silence creates space for processing feelings and gaining insight.

How to Practice: Begin with short periods of silence, such as during meals or mornings. Gradually extend this to include silent walks, journaling, or full days of silence. Observe how this practice enhances your inner awareness and connection.

Pranayama: Cultivating Breath and Energy

Pranayama is the bridge between body and mind, harmonizing energy channels (nadis), clearing stagnation, and creating a thriving prana-rich environment for the awakening of kundalini—the latent spiritual energy coiled at the base of the spine. Daily breathwork at the ashram helped me balance my energy and deepen my meditation practice.

Benefits of Pranayama:

• Balances the Ida (calming) and Pingala (energizing) nadis.

• Clears energetic blocks, releasing stress and stagnation.

• Prepares the body for spiritual awakening by enriching it with prana.

• Enhances focus, calmness, and emotional stability.

Techniques to Try:

• Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing): Promotes balance and calmness.

• Kapalabhati (Skull-Shining Breath): Clears the mind and invigorates energy.

• Bhastrika (Bellows Breath): Stimulates prana and ignites the inner fire.

How to Begin: Work with a qualified teacher to ensure proper technique and safety. Start with 5–10 minutes of daily practice, focusing on one technique at a time.

Seva: The Joy of Selfless Service

Seva, or selfless service, is the practice of giving without expectation. At the ashram, daily acts of Seva—from cleaning communal spaces to helping prepare meals—taught me humility, connection, and the joy of contributing to something larger than myself.

Benefits of Seva:

• Cultivates humility and gratitude.

• Strengthens your connection to community.

• Brings yoga off the mat and into daily life.

How to Begin: Volunteer for a cause that aligns with your values, help a neighbor, or offer your skills freely. Allow Seva to become a meditation in action, fostering a spirit of love and service.

Bhakti Yoga: Devotion and Love

Bhakti Yoga, the yoga of devotion, centers on cultivating love through practices like kirtan (devotional chanting). In the evenings at the ashram, singing mantras with others created a resonance that opened my heart and deepened my sense of connection and surrender.

Benefits of Bhakti Yoga:

• Opens the heart, fostering compassion and love.

• Provides a channel for emotional release.

• Deepens your spiritual connection and sense of unity.

How to Begin: Attend a kirtan or explore recordings online. Start with simple chants like "Om Namah Shivaya" and focus on the vibration of the sound.

Using Fire to Transform and Purify

Fire represents transformation and renewal. Its symbolism and power are woven deeply into yoga and spiritual practices, serving as a tool to purify the mind, release old patterns, and awaken deeper awareness. Through practices like the Agni Hotra ceremony and Trataka meditation, fire becomes not just an element but a gateway to inner transformation.

Trataka Meditation: Gaze Into the Flame

Trataka, or candle-gazing meditation, is a practice designed to focus the mind, stimulate the third eye, and cleanse the subconscious. My favorite way to practice Trataka is in a dark room, where the flame becomes the central point of focus. Elevate the candle to eye level to create a direct connection between your gaze and the flame. As you gaze steadily into the candle, allow yourself to feel its purifying energy.

Here’s the beauty of the practice: Give your eyes a rest when they need it. Gently close them and hold the image of the flame in your mind’s eye. As you’re ready, reopen your eyes and reconnect with the physical flame. Over time, you might find yourself so absorbed in the practice that you forget who you are and feel as though you’ve become the flame itself—its warmth, energy, and transformative light merging with your being.

How to Practice Trataka:

1. Find a quiet, dimly lit space where you won’t be disturbed.

2. Place a candle at eye level, about two to three feet away from you.

3. Sit comfortably with a straight spine and light the candle.

4. Gaze at the flame without blinking, allowing your attention to settle fully on its movement and light.

5. When your eyes tire, gently close them and visualize the flame in your mind’s eye. Stay with this image for as long as you like.

6. Reopen your eyes when ready and continue the practice, letting the flame anchor your focus and purify your thoughts.

Agni Hotra: The Sacred Fire Ritual

Agni Hotra is a Vedic fire ritual that combines offerings, chanting, and meditative focus. It is both a communal and deeply personal practice, where the fire becomes a powerful symbol of surrender, purification, and transformation. During the ritual, offerings such as ghee or grains are placed into the fire while mantras are chanted, allowing the energy of the flame to carry your intentions and prayers into the universe.

In my experience, participating in Agni Hotra at the ashram was transformative. The act of making offerings while chanting in community created a profound sense of connection and release. I often felt emotions well up unexpectedly, as if the fire were burning away layers of resistance and clearing space for growth and renewal.

Concepts to Hold During Fire Practices

1. Purification: Visualize the fire burning away negativity, blocks, and any energy that no longer serves you.

2. Transformation: See the flame as your inner light, growing stronger and brighter with every moment of focus.

3. Awakening: Feel the fire stimulating clarity, insight, and connection to your higher self. Allow its energy to awaken your intuition and deepen your sense of purpose.

Whether through Trataka meditation or Agni Hotra, working with fire offers an extraordinary opportunity for self-discovery and transformation. The flame, with its warmth and power, becomes a mirror for the soul—illuminating what lies within, purifying what holds us back, and igniting our deepest potential.

From the Mat to the Heart: A Lifelong Journey

Yoga is far more than a physical practice; it’s an ever-unfolding journey of connection, surrender, and transformation. Through practices like noble silence, chanting, Seva, Pranayama, and fire rituals, yoga invites you to peel back the layers of who you think you are and reveal the truth of your innermost self.

The beauty of this path is that it meets you exactly where you are. Begin with a single practice that resonates—a mantra, a breath, a moment of stillness—and let it guide you. Trust in the transformative power of yoga to lead you from the mat, through the fire of renewal, and into the expansive depths of your heart.

Step by step, this journey will uncover profound connection, clarity, and love—not just for the world around you, but for the sacred essence of who you are.

Now it’s your turn! What practices have deepened your yoga journey or brought you closer to your true self? Are you drawn to explore something new, like fire rituals, chanting, or Seva? I’d love to hear about your experiences or intentions—share them in the comments below!

Building Strength, Balance, and Self-Love: Redefining Fitness as a Journey Home

In my early forties, my perspective on fitness has transformed.

Despite being naturally thin, my relationship with my body hasn’t always been healthy. Years of struggling with anorexia, body dysmorphia, and the unrealistic standards from my time in modeling and acting phase, left me feeling deeply disconnected. Yoga became a lifeline, offering a way to heal and reconnect, but a part of me still clung to the ’90s waif ideal, tethered to the belief that smaller somehow equated to better.

Now, I’ve reached a place where I genuinely want to cultivate strength, balance, and vitality for myself. With the guidance of my incredible friend and personal trainer, JJ Pepper—FlexMob King, kinesiology wizard, and a hilariously deep and insightful human—I’ve discovered a sustainable and empowering fitness approach that aligns perfectly with my goals. Strength training has become the ideal complement to my yoga practice, filling in essential gaps like functional movements and pulling exercises—key components often overlooked in traditional yoga classes.

Why Whole-Body Activation Matters

Activating your body means engaging all your muscles to work efficiently together. It’s not just about building strength; it’s about creating balance, preventing injury, and fostering a mind-body connection that supports longevity and vitality.

For me, this balance has been transformative—not just physically, but energetically. Strength training introduces pulling motions, which are often underrepresented in yoga and everyday movement patterns. This balance of "pushing" and "pulling" movements creates not only physical alignment but potentially shifts the psychic and energetic dynamics within the body as well.

Energetically, pushing can symbolize exertion, action, and external projection, while pulling invites receptivity, grounding, and drawing in what we need. By integrating both dynamics into my routine, I’ve noticed a greater sense of harmony—not just in my body but in my approach to life. It’s a reminder of the interconnectedness between physical movement and the subtle flow of energy within.

This approach has been particularly important for sustaining my work as a massage therapist and yoga teacher, roles that demand physical resilience and balance. The average career span for massage therapists is often cut short due to the toll it takes on the body. By integrating intentional movement that balances effort with restoration, I’m supporting my ability to show up fully for my clients and students.

Overcoming Gym PTSD

Returning to the gym after the pandemic presented an unexpected challenge—what I call “COVID gym PTSD.” The overstimulation of screens, the unfamiliar environment, and the collective tension lingering in the air initially felt overwhelming.

JJ helped me reframe my experience. Together, we created a program tailored to my needs and goals, allowing me to focus inward. I began using tools like music, podcasts, and audiobooks to help stay grounded and present during workouts. The gym, once a space that felt alienating, has become a place of growth, empowerment, and even meditation in motion.

How Yoga Complements Strength Training

Yoga remains a daily practice for my mind, body, and spirit, but I’ve realized it shouldn’t be my primary form of exercise. While yoga is incredible for flexibility, mindfulness, and some forms of strength, it often emphasizes pushing movements (like chaturangas and planks) while neglecting the posterior chain—our back, glutes, and hamstrings.

Strength training provides the balance I need. By incorporating pulling exercises and functional movements, I’ve created a more integrated approach to wellness that supports both flexibility and strength. This balance has deepened my connection to my body, allowing me to feel stronger, more capable, and more aligned with myself.

Embracing the Whole Journey

Initially, my fitness journey was about building functional strength and balance for work and life. But I’ve also come to embrace the deeper truth: I want to feel strong, resilient, and connected to my body—not just for what it can do but for the joy of inhabiting it fully.

This journey is grounded in self-love, with goals that prioritize health and resilience. At the same time, I’ve learned to honor the desire to feel great in my body and love the way it looks. Celebrating the beauty and strength of our physical form isn’t vanity—it’s an act of gratitude and joy for the vessel that carries us through life.

Our body is the home of our soul, a sacred vessel for every moment of our lives. Feeling strong, embodied, and joyful in this home is our birthright. With the right care and support, we can build the sturdiest, most beautiful home we could imagine—a place of wellness, empowerment, and deep self-love.

A Reflection for You

What would it feel like to truly live in a body that feels strong, balanced, and alive? How might your energy shift if you approached movement—or any form of self-care—with the intention to both receive and give? Perhaps this is your moment to explore how the dynamics of pushing and pulling, both physically and energetically, could create harmony in your life. Are you ready to build a home within yourself that feels truly yours?

Holding Space: The Art of Being There Without Trying to Fix Everything

Let’s talk about holding space—that magical, slightly mysterious thing you’ve heard about but maybe aren’t totally sure how to do. It’s not a skill they teach in school (although they should). It’s the art of showing up for someone, not with answers or solutions, but with presence, compassion, and a willingness to just be with them. Sounds simple, right? It is...and it isn’t.

Holding space is one of the most powerful gifts you can offer, but it’s also a skill that requires practice. Why? Because our instinct, especially when someone we care about is struggling, is to jump in with advice, solutions, or that “motivational” speech we think will fix everything. (Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t.)

But here’s the thing: most people don’t need you to fix them. They need you to hold space for them to feel, process, and figure things out on their own. Let’s break down what holding space really means, why it’s so impactful, and how you can do it in a way that feels natural, not forced.

1. What Does Holding Space Even Mean?

At its core, holding space is about creating an environment where someone feels safe to be vulnerable. It’s about putting your ego, agenda, and desire to control the outcome aside and simply being there. You’re not swooping in to solve their problems or telling them how to feel. You’re offering a container where they can show up as they are—messy, confused, and human.

Think of it as emotional hosting: you’re not the star of the show, but you’re making sure the environment feels welcoming, supportive, and free of judgment. No one needs fancy snacks or an emotional charcuterie board. They just need your presence.

2. Why Holding Space Feels So Hard

Okay, let’s be real: holding space is not always easy, especially if you’re a natural fixer or empath who feels all the things. Here’s why it can feel like a challenge:

• We’re Uncomfortable with Discomfort: Watching someone struggle makes us squirm. Our instinct is to smooth things over, even if it’s not what they need.

• We Think We Need to Have the Answers: There’s this weird cultural pressure to always know the right thing to say. But here’s the secret: you don’t need to say anything profound. Sometimes silence is the most powerful response.

• We Want to Feel Useful: Offering solutions makes us feel like we’re doing something. But holding space isn’t about doing—it’s about being.

The truth is, holding space challenges us to sit with our own discomfort and trust that our presence is enough. And that? That’s hard and beautiful and worth practicing.

3. What Holding Space is NOT

Before we get into how to hold space, let’s clear up a few misconceptions. Holding space is not:

• Giving Unsolicited Advice: “Have you tried yoga?” is not holding space. It’s problem-solving.

• Judging Their Experience: Avoid saying things like, “You shouldn’t feel that way” or “It’s not that bad.” Trust me, it doesn’t help.

• Making It About You: Sharing your own stories or saying, “I know exactly how you feel” can unintentionally shift the focus away from them.

Holding space is about meeting the person where they are—not where you think they should be.

4. How to Actually Hold Space (Without Losing Your Mind)

Ready to step into the sacred art of holding space? Here are some practical tips to get you started:

Step 1: Check Your Ego at the Door

This isn’t about being the hero or offering the perfect words. It’s about showing up with an open heart and no agenda. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: This isn’t about me.

Step 2: Listen Like You Mean It

Put away your phone, stop mentally rehearsing your response, and just listen. Like, really listen. Let them talk, vent, or cry without interrupting. Sometimes, they just need to hear their own voice.

Step 3: Resist the Urge to Fix

When someone shares something painful, your brain will scream, Fix it! Say something wise! Solve this problem! Ignore it. Instead, try saying, “I hear you” or “That sounds so hard.” Validation is more powerful than advice.

Step 4: Hold the Silence

Silence can feel awkward, but it’s often where the magic happens. Give them the space to sit with their feelings. You don’t need to fill every pause with words.

Step 5: Offer Empathy, Not Sympathy

Empathy says, “I’m here with you.” Sympathy says, “Wow, that sucks for you.” Empathy connects. Sympathy distances. Choose empathy.

Step 6: Ask What They Need

Sometimes the simplest way to hold space is to ask, “What do you need from me right now?” It lets them guide the interaction and shows you’re there to support them on their terms.

5. The Transformative Power of Holding Space

Here’s why holding space is so impactful: it gives people permission to be exactly who they are, without fear of judgment or pressure to “fix” themselves. It’s a reminder that they’re not alone in their struggle and that their feelings are valid.

Holding space also strengthens relationships in ways that advice-giving or fixing never can. When you hold space for someone, you create trust, deepen intimacy, and show them that they’re worthy of love and support, even in their most vulnerable moments.

6. Holding Space for Yourself

Before you can hold space for others, you need to know how to hold space for yourself. That means giving yourself permission to feel your own feelings, be imperfect, and process life at your own pace. Self-compassion is the foundation for being able to show up authentically for others.

Here’s how to start:

• Take time to sit with your emotions without rushing to change or fix them.

• Journal your thoughts or talk to someone who can hold space for you.

• Practice self-care that nourishes your mind, body, and spirit.

7. Final Thoughts: Becoming a Space-Holder Extraordinaire

Holding space isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up, imperfections and all, with a willingness to be there. It’s about creating a safe haven where someone can let down their guard, feel seen, and start to heal.

The next time someone opens up to you, remember: you don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to solve their problems or say the perfect thing. Just be present. Just listen. Just hold space.

Because sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is simply be there. And that? That’s everything.

Scroll Smart: The Hidden Effects of Social Media on Your Mind, Body, and Relationships

Let’s face it—social media is the ultimate love-hate relationship.

It connects us to people across the globe, makes us laugh with endless cat memes, and keeps us updated on the latest trends. But, lurking beneath the double taps and GIF wars are sneaky effects on our brain, body, and ability to connect with the people right in front of us.

So, how healthy is social media? Spoiler alert: It’s complicated. Let’s dive into what it does to our minds, why it’s hard to put the phone down, and how to make it a healthier part of your life (while keeping it fun).

The Brain’s Reaction: Dopamine Gone Wild

Every like, comment, or new follower gives your brain a little reward—a shot of dopamine, the same chemical responsible for making chocolate taste like heaven and slot machines so addictive. This is why we refresh our feeds like our lives depend on it.

But here’s the catch: The more you rely on these little hits, the harder it becomes for your brain to get excited about the slower, more meaningful parts of life—like a deep conversation with a friend or the smell of fresh coffee in the morning. Suddenly, a heartfelt moment IRL feels dull compared to the thrill of 2 new notifications.

Why Timing Matters: Avoid Social Media in the Morning and Before Bed

Your first and last moments of the day are critical for setting the tone and quality of your mental and emotional health. Here’s why you should resist the urge to grab your phone first thing in the morning or right before bed:

• Morning Use: Scrolling social media as soon as you wake up bombards your brain with information and comparisons before it’s even had a chance to fully "boot up." This can spike cortisol levels (your stress hormone), setting a reactive tone for your day. Instead, start your morning with activities that focus on grounding and intention, like journaling, meditation, or a mindful breakfast.

• Before Bed: Using social media at night disrupts your sleep in more ways than one. Blue light from your screen inhibits melatonin production, making it harder for your body to recognize that it’s time to wind down. Additionally, consuming content before bed can overstimulate your mind, keeping it busy with thoughts about what you just watched, liked, or commented on. This can lead to restless sleep and poor recovery.

Pro Tips:

• Set a “no-phone” rule for the first and last 30 minutes of your day.

• Use this time for relaxing activities like reading, stretching, or simply reflecting on your day.

• Place your phone in another room or use a traditional alarm clock to avoid temptation.

The Social Media Trap: When Connection Becomes Disconnection

You’d think that something designed to connect us would make us better at relationships, right? Nope. When you’re glued to your screen, your presence in the real world takes a hit. Here’s how it sneaks up on you:

• Distracted Togetherness: You’re at brunch with friends, but instead of laughing at inside jokes, you’re filming your latte art for Instagram. Your friends might smile politely, but inside, they’re thinking, Can we just have a moment without a camera?

• Surface-Level Socializing: A quick “LOL” on someone’s post feels easier than asking, “How are you really doing?” Social media conditions us to skim relationships, not dive deep.

• Loneliness Paradox: The more time you spend on social media, the lonelier you might feel. A huge online following can’t replace the comfort of someone who truly knows you.

• Relationship Strain: Social media contributes to 20% of all divorces in the U.S., with studies showing that excessive use can lead to jealousy, emotional affairs, and miscommunication.

Body Talk: What Social Media Does to Your Physiology

It’s not just your brain—your body gets in on the action too:

• Stress Spikes: Negative posts or doom-scrolling news stories can trigger cortisol (your stress hormone), leaving you on edge.

• Sleep Saboteur: Social media emits blue light, which disrupts the production of melatonin—the hormone that regulates your sleep-wake cycle. This is why late-night scrolling can leave you tossing and turning, even after you’ve put your phone down.

• Posture Problems: “Text neck” is real. Endless scrolling equals slouching, which equals neck and back pain. Cue the chiropractor visits.

The Link Between Social Media and Depression

Social media use has been linked to increased rates of depression and anxiety, particularly among teens and young adults. Here's why:

• Comparison Culture: Seeing curated highlights of others’ lives can make you feel inadequate or envious, leading to low self-esteem.

• Validation Dependence: The pressure to get likes, comments, or shares can become overwhelming and emotionally draining.

• Isolation: Spending hours on social media often replaces meaningful real-world interactions, compounding feelings of loneliness.

A 2018 study found that people who spent more than 3 hours per day on social media were 2.6 times more likely to report depressive symptoms than those who limited their use.

How to Reduce the Complications of Screen Light

The blue light from your screen isn’t just messing with your sleep—it’s straining your eyes and affecting your mood. Here’s how to minimize the impact:

• Use Blue Light Filters: Enable “night mode” or use apps that reduce blue light on your devices.

• Limit Screen Time Before Bed: Stop using your phone at least an hour before bedtime to allow your brain to wind down.

• Invest in Blue Light Glasses: These glasses can help protect your eyes during extended screen use.

• Take Breaks: Follow the 20-20-20 rule: every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds to reduce eye strain.

Stats That’ll Make You Pause (Before Your Next Scroll)

• The average person spends 2.5 hours a day on social media. Over a year, that’s nearly 38 days!

• 20% of divorces in the U.S. cite social media as a contributing factor.

• Social media users who spend more than 3 hours daily are significantly more likely to report symptoms of anxiety or depression.

• 60% of people feel jealous or inadequate after looking at others’ posts. Remember, no one’s posting their bad hair days.

How to Make Social Media Your BFF, Not Your Frenemy

The good news? You don’t have to break up with social media—just define the relationship. Here’s how to keep things healthy:

1. Set Clear Boundaries:

   • Designate "phone-free" zones—like meals or bedtimes.

   • Try a digital detox once a week to give your brain (and thumb) a break.

2. Curate Your Feed:

   • Unfollow accounts that stress you out or make you feel bad about yourself.

   • Follow people who inspire, educate, or genuinely bring you joy.

3. Engage Meaningfully:

   • Skip the mindless scrolling and actually comment, share, or DM with purpose.

   • Use it to build connections, not just collect likes.

4. Prioritize Real Life:

   • Plan coffee dates, join a hobby group, or just spend quality time with loved ones without your phone in hand.

Final Swipe

Social media is like your favorite dessert: amazing in moderation but problematic in excess. It can brighten your day, keep you informed, and help you connect—but it can also drain your energy, disrupt your relationships, and mess with your health.

The key? Use it intentionally. Make it work for you, not the other way around. So next time you’re tempted to scroll, pause and ask: Is this enhancing my life or just filling the silence? Your future self (and your neck muscles) will thank you.

What’s your relationship with social media like? Are you scrolling mindfully or in need of a reset? Share your thoughts below!

Healing Your Relationship with Food: From Control to Nourishment and Freedom

Healing Your Relationship with Food: From Control to Nourishment and Freedom

For many of us, food is far more than fuel for our bodies. It’s tied to comfort, connection, culture, and sometimes, pain. Our relationship with food can mirror the way we view ourselves—often tangled in guilt, shame, or control. When these patterns dominate, they leave us feeling unworthy, disconnected, and trapped in cycles that drain our energy and joy.

Here’s the liberating truth: healing your relationship with food isn’t about perfection or rigid rules. It’s about building a joyful, nourishing connection with eating—one that honors your body, emotions, and spirit. With self-compassion and the right tools, you can transform food into a source of vitality, not control.

My Journey: From Starvation to Freedom

There was a time when my relationship with food was completely broken. I used to starve myself for days, surviving on nothing but Diet Dr Pepper and an occasional serving of egg beaters with ketchup. My body was screaming for nourishment, but I was consumed by a desire for control—a misguided belief that being smaller would make me more worthy.

Looking back, it wasn’t just about the food. It was about an internal void I didn’t know how to fill. Food became my battleground, and my body was caught in the crossfire. At my lowest point, the effects of starvation became pretty scary. I would sometimes black out when I stood up, losing consciousness entirely. These moments not only frightened me but also deeply worried those around me. Yet, even in the face of these alarming signs, I felt trapped in the cycle.

Rebuilding trust with myself—and with food—wasn’t easy, but it was the most liberating and empowering journey of my life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of restriction, guilt, or shame, know that you’re not alone. And more importantly, know that healing is possible. Let’s explore the steps to reclaim your relationship with food and, in doing so, rediscover peace within yourself.

Step 1: Recognize the Disconnect

If food feels like a source of stress or guilt, it’s not your fault. Many of us grow up absorbing societal messages that label foods as “good” or “bad,” teaching us to associate eating with morality instead of nourishment. For me, this disconnect manifested as an obsession with control. For others, it might look like emotional eating or a constant push-pull of restriction and overindulgence.

To start the healing process, reflect on your patterns and beliefs:

• What messages about food and body image shaped your thinking?

• When did guilt or shame about eating first appear in your life?

• How would you like your relationship with food to feel?

This step isn’t about judgment—it’s about awareness. By acknowledging where you’ve been, you empower yourself to choose a new path.

Step 2: Shift the Focus to Nourishment

Instead of viewing food as the enemy, try seeing it as a powerful form of self-care. Nourishment isn’t just about calories or nutrients; it’s about giving your body, mind, and spirit what they need to thrive.

How to Begin:

• Ask Empowering Questions: Replace “What shouldn’t I eat?” with “What can I eat that will nourish and energize me today?”

• Prioritize Balance Over Rules: Deprivation often leads to overindulgence. Instead of rigid restrictions, aim for balance—where all foods can have a place.

• Rediscover Joy in Eating: Focus on the colors, textures, and flavors of your meals. Let each bite be an act of mindfulness.

✨ Action Step: For one meal this week, create a plate that feels like a celebration. Use vibrant ingredients, savor each bite, and eat without distractions.

Step 3: Heal the Emotional Connection

Food often becomes a coping mechanism when emotions feel too big to manage. Stress, sadness, boredom, or anger can all drive us to eat—not because we’re hungry, but because we’re seeking comfort or distraction.

Tools for Emotional Regulation:

• Pause and Breathe: Before eating, take a moment to breathe deeply. Ask yourself, “What am I really feeling?”

• Journal Your Thoughts: Write down your emotions. Often, acknowledging them can reduce their intensity.

• Move Your Body: A brisk walk, a yoga flow, or even dancing can help release emotions stored in your body.

• Seek Support: Reach out to a therapist, coach, or trusted friend to explore the deeper emotions behind your eating habits.

✨ Action Step: The next time you feel an emotional urge to eat, name the feeling aloud. Simply saying, “I’m feeling stressed” can create space between the emotion and your response.

Step 4: Celebrate Small Wins

Healing your relationship with food isn’t about big, dramatic changes—it’s about the little victories that add up over time.

Signs of Progress:

• You eat a meal without feeling guilt or shame.

• You enjoy dessert without feeling the need to “earn” it through exercise.

• You pause before eating to breathe and feel gratitude.

• You recognize emotional eating triggers without judgment.

✨ Action Step: Keep a “Food Freedom Journal.” Each day, write down one small win, like savoring a meal or listening to your body’s hunger cues.

Step 5: Practice Radical Self-Compassion

To truly heal, you must treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a close friend. Self-compassion allows you to let go of perfectionism and embrace your humanity.

Mantras for Healing:

• “I’m learning, and that’s enough.”

• “Every step I take brings me closer to balance.”

• “I deserve peace and joy in my relationship with food.”

✨ Action Step: When old patterns resurface, place your hand on your heart, take a deep breath, and say, “I’m here for you. We’re in this together.”

Step 6: Reconnect with Your Body

Healing your relationship with food is also about rebuilding trust with your body. Your body knows what it needs—you just need to listen.

How to Tune In:

• Hunger and Fullness Cues: Eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re satisfied—not stuffed.

• Energy Levels: Notice how different foods make you feel. Do they energize you or leave you feeling sluggish?

• Cravings as Communication: Instead of fearing cravings, get curious about what your body might be asking for.

✨ Action Step: Set aside 10 minutes each week for a quiet body scan. Ask, “What do you need today?” Then honor that need—whether it’s a meal, rest, or movement.

The Path to Freedom

Reclaiming your relationship with food is about more than what’s on your plate—it’s about finding peace within yourself. Imagine eating without guilt, savoring your favorite foods with joy, and trusting your body to guide you.

This journey isn’t about being perfect. It’s about coming home to yourself—your needs, your joy, your humanity. You deserve to feel nourished, vibrant, and whole. Let each step, no matter how small, bring you closer to the freedom you’ve always deserved.

The Sacred Pause: Taking Space to Honor Yourself and Cultivate Deeper Love

Life moves fast—too fast sometimes. Between endless to-do lists, constant notifications, and the pressure to keep up, it’s easy to feel like you’re on a hamster wheel, running but never really getting anywhere. Add relationships into the mix—whether with family, friends, or a partner—and the stakes can feel even higher. But here’s the thing: love, real love, doesn’t thrive in chaos or overthinking. It needs space to breathe, to grow, to deepen.

This is where the sacred pause comes in.

The sacred pause isn’t about running away or ghosting people; it’s about creating intentional space to reconnect with yourself, to honor your needs, and to bring clarity into your relationships. Whether it’s taking a break from the constant activity that drains your energy or stepping back to gain perspective in a relationship, the pause is an act of radical care—for you and the people you love.

Pausing in Relationships: Giving Love Space to Breathe

If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure about a relationship—whether it’s with a partner, a friend, or even a family member—you know how tempting it is to overanalyze every interaction. Maybe you replay conversations, looking for hidden meanings. Maybe you try harder, give more, or twist yourself into knots trying to “fix” things. But here’s the truth: sometimes, clarity doesn’t come from doing more—it comes from stepping back.

Why Take a Pause in a Relationship?

• To Reflect on What You Need: Relationships can blur boundaries. A pause gives you the space to reconnect with your own wants, needs, and feelings without the constant influence of another person.

• To Heal Without Reacting: Emotions run high when there’s tension. A pause allows you to process your feelings without the pressure to react or resolve things immediately.

• To Gain Perspective: Distance often brings clarity. It helps you see the relationship—and your role in it—from a more balanced, grounded place.

How to Do It
Taking a pause doesn’t mean cutting someone off or abandoning the relationship. It’s about setting clear, intentional boundaries for a set period of time. For example, you might reduce contact for 30–90 days, focus on your own healing, and use the time to reflect on what’s best for both of you. The goal is not to punish or isolate, but to create space for insight and growth.

Pausing Activity: When Your Soul Needs a Break

While relationship pauses are about creating space between you and another person, pausing from activity is about creating space between you and the world’s endless demands. If you’re feeling burned out, scattered, or perpetually “on,” your body and mind might be begging for a sacred pause.

Signs You Need to Take a Pause From Activity:

• You’re running on autopilot, crossing things off your list but feeling no joy.

• You’re constantly tired, but sleep doesn’t feel like enough.

• Your creativity and motivation feel drained.

In these moments, the sacred pause is about slowing down, reconnecting with yourself, and allowing space for rest and renewal.

How to Do It

• Schedule Micro-Pauses: Take 10 minutes in the morning to sit quietly with your coffee or tea. Step outside during lunch to feel the sun on your face. These small moments create ripples of calm throughout your day.

• Try a Day of Stillness: Dedicate one day to doing as little as possible. No obligations, no plans—just a day to reset.

• Focus on Nourishment: Shift your energy from doing to being. Read a book that inspires you, cook a comforting meal, or spend time in nature.

Knowing the Difference: When to Pause a Relationship vs. Activity

It’s important to recognize where the overwhelm is coming from. Is the tension you’re feeling tied to a specific relationship, or is it rooted in your overall pace of life? Here’s how to tell:

• Pause a Relationship: When the uncertainty, stress, or emotional weight feels tied to one person or dynamic. If you find yourself constantly replaying interactions or struggling to set boundaries with someone, it might be time to step back and reflect.

• Pause Activity: When the overwhelm feels broader, like the world is just too much. If you’re juggling too many responsibilities, feeling drained by endless to-dos, or struggling to stay present, a pause from activity will help you reset.

Both pauses are about reclaiming your energy and prioritizing your well-being. The key is tuning in to what your heart and body are asking for.

How the Sacred Pause Deepens Love and Connection

Whether you’re pausing a relationship or your own pace, the act of taking space allows love to grow in ways that frantic energy cannot. When you pause, you’re not withdrawing; you’re recalibrating. You’re giving yourself and those around you the gift of clarity, intention, and deeper connection.

• In Relationships: The pause helps you show up with more love and authenticity. You’re no longer reacting from a place of exhaustion or frustration, but responding from a place of understanding and truth.

• In Activity: The pause lets you reconnect with your inner self, reminding you that you’re not defined by your productivity or busyness.

Practical Ways to Embrace the Sacred Pause

1. Journal Your Intentions: Whether it’s a relationship or your schedule, write down why you need the pause and what you hope to gain from it. Clarity starts with intention.

2. Set Clear Boundaries: Be honest with yourself and others about the space you’re creating. For a relationship, communicate the pause with kindness. For activity, say no to things that don’t align with your needs.

3. Create Reflective Rituals: During the pause, engage in practices that help you reconnect with yourself, like meditation, breathwork, or creative outlets.

4. Invite Other Energies Into Relationships: If family dynamics are weighing on you, bring in other energies to lighten the load. A friend at a family gathering, a shared activity, or even time spent with a pet can shift the dynamic.

Final Thoughts: Honoring the Sacred Pause

The sacred pause is an act of love—for yourself, your relationships, and your life. Whether you’re stepping back from a relationship to gain clarity or slowing down your pace to reconnect with your inner self, the pause is a powerful reminder that you don’t have to have all the answers right now.

In the stillness of the pause, you’ll find wisdom. In the space, you’ll find clarity. And when you return—whether to the relationship, the world, or simply to yourself—you’ll do so with more intention, grace, and love. Because sometimes, the most important step forward is the one where you stop, breathe, and honor where you are.